if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
