You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
