You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
