I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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