why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize