Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
