Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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