please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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