what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize