yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
