My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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