I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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