you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dignity is for republicans.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
