That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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