so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
