Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
