And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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