Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
