Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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