Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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