my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
