the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
