this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize