By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
