That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize