Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize