It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
