He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
