I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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