I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
