MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
