I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
