whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
