we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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