well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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