I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
