Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
