I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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