You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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