u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My life is pants optional.
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