My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
