Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it glows. i had to have it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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