omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
