I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
