hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
