Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize