Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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