dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
