Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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