It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
