I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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