You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
