Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
