awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
