Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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