seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
