I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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