i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
