hotel room ftw
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
