remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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