who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
